Little Johnny... =D

Here are some jokes about Little Johnny... (don't ask me why johnny of all names.. probably cos it sounds the most innocent lol) but then again.. most "little johnny" jokes are slightly... well not that slightly.. perverted.. xD

1) A teacher was asking the kids what they would most like to be covered in and why. Firstly a little boy answers "I would like to be covered in silver, because then I could scratch a little bit off my body and I could buy a BMW".

The second kid answers "I would like to be covered in gold, then i could scratch a little bit and buy a Merz"

Little Johnny at the back is waving his hand frantically tried to answer the question. The teacher expecting the worst says "O.K Johnny, what would you like to be covered in?". Johnny replies "Pubic hair, miss". The shocked teacher asks why and Johnny says "Well, my sisters has got a tiny patch and you should see the cars parked outside our house".




2)Two little boys go into the grocery store. Little Johnny is six, his brother, Little Timmy, is four. Little Johnny grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out. The cashier asks, "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?" Johnny replies, "Nope, not for my mom."

Without thinking, the cashier responded, "Well, they must be for your sister then?" Johnny quipped, "Nope, not for my sister either." The cashier had now become curious. "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?"

Johnny says, "They're for my four-year-old little brother." The cashier is surprised: "Your four year old little brother?" Little Johnny explains: "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can't do either of them!"


3)Little Johnny's father sat down next to him on the couch one day and said, "Okay, Johnny, once there was this big, black rooster, and it was sitting on a fence post. How many wings does the rooster have?" Johnny replied, "It has two."

Little Johnny's father then asked, "How many eyes does the rooster have?" Johnny replied, "It has two." Little Johnny's father then asked, "Well then, how many legs do you think the rooster had?" Johnny replied, "It has two, daddy."

So then, Little Johnny's daddy said, "Well then, a big white cat walks up to where the big black rooster is standing on the fence post and opens its mouth to hiss at the rooster. How many teeth does the cat have?" Little Johnny scratched his head and replied, "I don't know daddy, how many teeth does the cat have?"

Little Johnny's daddy grabbed him by the arm and exclaimed, "Alright boy, how come you know so much about big black cock and so little about white pussy?"


4)A salesman rang the door bell and little Johnny answered. The salesman asked if his father was at home. Little Johnny: "Yes." The salesman: "Well, can I see him please?" Little Johnny: "No, he is in the shower." The Salesman asked if his mother was at home. Little Johnny: "Yes." The Salesman: "Well can I see her?" Little Johnny: "No, she's in the shower too.." The Salesman: "Do you think they will be out soon?" Little Johnny: "No." The salesman asked why. Little Johnny: "Well, when my dad asked me for the vaseline I gave him some super glue instead."


5)Little Johnny is sleeping in bed, when his mother comes along and says "Rise and shine Johnny, time to wake up." Johnny replies, like any normal kid, "5 more minutes mom." Little Johnny's mother decides to give Johnny 5 more minutes, so she goes down the stairs and starts cooking breakfast.

After 5 minutes, Johnny comes down the stairs and is crying uncontrollably. "What's wrong Johnny?" asks Johnny's mother. "I had a wet dream last night," Johnny replied. His mother is surprised, but keeps her composure. "That's nothing to cry over, is it Johnny?" she says. "Of course it is!" says Johnny. "Now whenever anyone asks me what the first thing I said after my first orgasm is, I'll have to tell them '5 more minutes mom!'"


Lol.. that should be enough for a while.. mind u.. from where i got these from.. there are a few hundred more where this came from lolz..

Lifeless out~